The best gift I gave myself in 2020

This is the story of how a mental breakdown led to a glorious weekend by myself (plus my 2 dogs).

After trying to put down the final directional arrow stickers on our concrete, in order to navigate around a construction zone and away from a parking lot, I broke down in tears. Getting ready to welcome back about 150 students on top of the already 150 students was weighing heavily on me. There was so much to be done, and I was glad to do it, but I hit the proverbial wall. Crying in my mask was my low point and I had to take action.

I found my favorite San Diego hotel was deeply discounted for the weekend. They allow dogs, and so taking my 2 pups was exactly what I needed to be pushed to be active, not staring at a TV for 48 hours.

Kids and hubby were off to my sister-in-law's house, so I could get grounded. This last minute change to programming would only be possible with a willing husband and his sister. I am so grateful.

I got in to the hotel super late, so dinner wasn't available. Better to hit the hay.

But I couldn’t fall asleep. It took a very long time to settle. Then, I woke up super early and couldn’t go back to sleep. I felt so out of balance on a night that should have provided rest.

That morning, I received a message from my prayer group leader, suggesting a devotional on the Bible app. It was called "Paul Tripp's Daily Thanksgiving Devotional." Day 1 was EXACTLY what I needed.

He writes that sin causes us to insert ourselves into the center of our world, making life all about us. I was in a terrible spot, filled with discontentment and envy --> totally selfish. The devotional talked about being right vertically and not horizontally. I committed the rest of my weekend to getting right vertically. I talked with God about my anger and resentment and asked for a pure heart. I have one life to give, and I need to do this right.

My only regret is not taking any photos.