It's go time. Time to say goodbye to diapers, and hello to the big boy pants. I got all the goods... the best selling potty on Amazon, the top rated potty board book; I scoured Pinterest for the best methods, read articles on my phone, harassed my girlfriends for their best tips and tricks, and compiled everything down to the top 5 strategies that I felt were logical, methodical, and most of all, would work for my brilliant child at 2 years and 2 months (the most common age, according to my research).
I set a timer on my phone for a new jingle to play every 30 minutes to incite potty-time (Pinterest). I stripped off the diaper and let him hang loose all day (advice from my girlfriends). And so began the dance. No, not the cute dance kids do when they have to pee. I'm talking about the mommy-chasing-after-toddler-while-peeing-wth-paper-towels-and-picking-him-up-and-placing-him-on-the-potty dance. The dance goes on until naptime, and the success rate of pee-in-potty is once every two times.
The stretch of the nap allows you to read, exercise, and re-evaluate your life's choices (I did all three). And then...he wakes up. And the dance begins anew. But the day is long. There is dinner to make, the to-do list to tackle You're thinking - my child took solid foods like a champ. He transitioned to the big boy bed seamlessly. This cannot be my final hour! So you resort to bribes: extra snacks, stickers, Netflix episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Thomas & Friends, Chuggington....anything to get him to sit and sit still long enough to go IN the potty.
Of course, when it does happen, you celebrate like it's New Year's, the 4th of July, winning the lottery, Hillary becoming President - but I digress.
By dinnertime, you've hit a wall and have to maintain that delicate balance between encourager and disciplinarian. The 21st Century Mom knows better than to make potty training shameful, punishing, or tortuous - for her or the kid. So, you let Pixar take over. That's right- grab Lightning McQueen or Buzz Lightyear and have them help you out. Pop in those Blu-rays and move the potty to the movie room. Sit beside your little one with snacks and drinks, while still using the timer to encourage peeing while enjoying the flick.
You call for reinforcements now - it's time to grab snacks and drinking for you because your sanity must last 3 more hours until bedtime. There's still a bath and putting to bed to negotiate. Find potty training memes while the movie is on (advice from other moms). You need to laugh! Share them on Instagram and ask your friends to join in the fun.
The movie works, and you draw a relaxing bath - for him, not you - and come to a harsh truth. He hasn't pooped yet. This is the big one, friends. Surely all the liquids would've helped, but no. And panic starts setting in. You're resigned to begging and pleading for him to "make poopy in the potty." Honestly, how do you teach that?! It's been a rough day. You need a win! And then, as if by answered prayer, your child does it. Maybe out of pity for the pleading parent in front of them, but, you don't mind. A win is a win.
Fast forward past the bath and bedtime, because honestly, those are cake in comparison! He's in pull-ups (against the advice of Pinterest and your girlfriends), because you're a busy, working mother, who can't spend her time washing sheets every day. You take your shower - use the expensive stuff you save for a special occasion - this is a special occasion! You accomplished your first day of potty training. Treat Yo Self!
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